Maybe I don’t do well with change. So in the past week and a half I have, graduated from college, moved out of my apartment, said goodbye to my students, my cooperating teacher, and a wonderful school, and now I’m moving back to Hayward to work a job I said I would never work again. I’m usually a very positive person, but this has got me really torn up. My job this summer adds more stress than ever needed in a job, it makes it almost not worth the money. But I have no choice. I have a house that is now like an anchor that has kept me grounded. I need to find a real job and I wish people would be more positive about it. Because it doesnt help me one bit when you aren’t. I guess I’ve realized how much I love Milwaukee and so don’t want to leave. I’m also afraid to get stuck in Hayward for the rest of my life. I’m just scared. College doesnt become my backup plan for September. I need to land a job and it’ll give me something to look forward to. Right now, I feel like I have nothing.
I had been looking forward to this weekend for weeks. Our whole family enjoying my brother and sister-in-law’s cabin. It was going to be my first Memorial Day in years that I would be able to just chill out. Everything was fine till 2 hrs ago when my brother went off and made an embarrassment out of himself and our whole family. Im so uoset right now I can’t comprehend anything. Absolutely nothing. All I know is my mom would be so upset right now. And I just want to get home now. Happy family weekend.
Tomorrow is my last day with my students. And I’m already crying. It’d be so dicferent if I was staying at the school and could see them grow and blossom then graduating. Instead I make and form a relationship with 200+ students only to be ripped away. If they only knew how much they all mean to me and how much they taught me. And how much I’ve grown as a person and as a teacher because of them. It’s veen so challenging at times, but I made it through. I still have so much left to learn, but I could not have asked for a better placement. Thank goodness I have until next Tuesday to say goodbye to my co-op and the rest of the school. I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. Here’s to hoping I can keep myelf collected tomorrow.
He is such an asshat. Im really hoping he doesn’t come to family weekend afterall.
So between..graduation, moving out, and being at my sisters with no internet, tumblr has been neglected.
So while I’m watching open gym..here is the 3 days I missed.
Day 164: one thing many people don’t know about you
I broke my foot sleep walking once.
Day 165: favorite type of music
I like it all.
Day 166: have you ever had a teacher that changed your life
Yes, Mr. novak…bio and physics in hs
I did it! I graduated from my dream school. It still hasn’t hit me yet. I’m a college graduate. I have a bachelor’s degree. That’s crazy. Almost everything is packed in my car, ready to leave tomorrow. Last night stayin on campus. This has legit been my dream since I was 5 years old. And I achieved it. I am proud of myself. And I know my mom is too. More pics to come.
Since it is the eve of graduation, I felt it was fitting to write a letter back to freshman Monica. Little did she know that life would drastically in the four years to come.
Dear Freshman Monica,
You’re not going to separate yourself as much as you think you’re going to. It’s ok, the last two weeks of senior year, you’ll realize how important your guys’ friendship is.
Stop trying to cover things up. You’ll make mistakes, own up to them immediately. It’ll save you a lot of heartache & guilt. And it’ll save other people the heartache as well.
You will think about transferring to EC. Give it time, Marquette was your dream college for a reason.
Go out more sophomore year or you’ll alienate yourself & never be able to recover fully. Make that Junior & Senior year too.
Tell your mom and everyone for that matter that you love them. You’ll never know when they could be gone in a blink of an eye.
Stop procrastinating. And try hard on your Modern Japan papers. That way you don’t feel you have to redeem yourself after your professor puts “Is this even English?” after you didn’t proofread.
Say goodbye’s appropriately.
8am classes will be ridiculous after first semester freshman year.
Go to more basketball games senior year.
Memorial is waaay better to study than anywhere else. You get easily distracted.
Milwaukee will become home. Don’t force it, it’ll come naturally. But venture out sooner.
Education is your calling.
Don’t get worked up over stolen toilet paper or the chair.
You will face scary decisions where you think you can’t do it. Newsflash: you can.
Amaretto Sours are the best, try them sooner.
Family will become extremely important. Your friends will become family.
He will become your family too. Cherish it. He will forgive you, but you did it to yourself. Own up to it and accept the consequences. You’ll make many trips to exit 88, they’ll be worth it. Even the ones where you leave a 5am to get back. For those few hours, your problems will disappear. Love him and be happy for him, he deserves it.
Work hard, this is your dream. It will go by ridiculously fast and before you know it, you’ll be laying in bed writing a letter to yourself four years ago. You’ll do great Monica. I’m proud of you.
Sincerely,
Monica B.
Marquette University
Education ‘12
PS: Lock your door freshman year…wait don’t, the girl urinating in your trash can at 3am will be the story of college. :)
Day 162: highs and lows of this month
Highs: about to graduate college
Lows: realizing I’m about to graduate college and having to leave my kids.
Day 163: where is one place you would love to visit
England.
